Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
