oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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