Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
