I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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