my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I have aggressive nipples.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
