somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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