There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
