I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
