His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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