so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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