listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
we're making bets on your personal life
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
