I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
