her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
