i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
