i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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