He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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