he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
