Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
