Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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