so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
