whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
