I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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