everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
