he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
