i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So vagazzling was a success
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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