Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Terrible idea I love it
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
