you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
