I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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