I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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