I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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