I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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