bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
