Banned from zoo.
Again?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
