I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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