she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I need help removing her.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Text me some of your sweat
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
