I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
