He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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