I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize