okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
