Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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