I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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