I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
