my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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