you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
BRING THE BAGELS
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
