the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
