Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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