I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
