I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
