absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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