oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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