It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
