Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
