Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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