Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
