Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
