so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
