So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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