dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
