I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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