Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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