it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
