I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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