im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
pray to the hookup gods
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i think i just lost a toe
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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