capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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