i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
