He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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