Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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