Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
