so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
