forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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