I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
