HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
