# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
