Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
