i jhust puked up my retainher.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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