is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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