Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
